Pintrocious: Cookie Cup FAIL

Ok, so I've grown a little more fond of Pinterest since my last rant about how I will never have an original idea again due to the zealous pinners out there (you can read about it here).  But it's been a source of inspiration lately and brings a little joy every time someone repins aruffledheart blog pic.  Talk about heart-melting.

I do love a good pinterest picture of food these days.  You know, the ones that totally look replicable and delicious.  Recipes that will make all your friends swoon and hate you at the same time.  Yes.  I like those.  And I've tried a few out.

But sometimes I get a little heated.  How can I evoke those precious juxtaposed emotions in my friends when the picture is an unrealistic outcome of what the person made?!

I think people get ideas in there heads and then search the internet for a picture thinking, "this is definitely what it would look like if I actually did it."

I cuss at you.

A few weeks ago I was having a little social time at my house.  I wanted to make some tasty (and pretty) snacks for my guests and had in mind a special pin of precious little cookie cups filled with a light whipped topping and fruit.  The pictures hypnotized me.  I was lost in the colors.

It seemed so simple too.  Pillsbury sugar cookie dough?   A muffin tin?  Really?  That's all?!

I was off to a grand start.  I even dug out that pampered chef tool I'd swear I need every day but had yet to find a reason to use it.

I followed the limited but simple instructions to the T.  <--Is that the correct usage of T?

But something inside me, call it my womanly pintrocious intuition, (pintrocious as in pin-atrocious) told me to not use the whole roll of dough. . .to try it out first before giving it my all.

Good thing. . .

There was some major chemistry explosions happening in the muffin tin and all over my oven.  I mean pillsbury everywhere!  I pulled them out and let the cookie lava cool.  Ten minutes later I had a pintrocious  mess of cookie rings with cookie bottoms glued to the bottom of the muffin pan.  That was fun to clean.

So if this mess is on your pin board. . .beware. . .the future of your cookie cups could be the GLAD bag.

Gettin' in the Greens (smoothie recipe)

I do like vegetables.  I promise.  Sometimes they are just harder to grab on the go.  Or you have prepare them somehow.  And who likes eating chard in the morning?

In 2007 a friend told me he tried to eat 5-9 fruits and vegetables a day.  I laughed.  How hard could that be?

Then I started to count. . .

Breakfast: 0/9
Lunch: 1/9
Dinner: 1/9

Yikes.  At most I was eating 3 servings of fruits and veggies a day.  Oh the shame!

So I made a mid-year resolution:  I will eat 5-9 fruits and vegetables a day!

I was passionate about this.  I almost felt as though I needed a cape every time I reached for some green beans.  A theme song began to play as I zealously proclaimed my quest for the home grown.

In the midst of my dietary rampage I went to have my yearly physical.  Yay.  Did the obligatory blood work and left wishing they passed out suckers to emerging young professionals.

A week later I got a call from the doctor.  "Hi Lauren, just following up on your blood work.  You have pretty high levels of potassium right now.  Are you taking potassium suppliments?"

"No,"  (and I don't like bananas either, I thought about adding).

"Are you eating a lot of fruit."

Pause.

The caped fruit eating crusader slowly backed away leaving me to have to explain my new food revolution.

"Well, yes.  I mean, I'm trying to eat 5 to 9 fruits and vegetables a week."

"Ok, well, how many of the 5-9 are servings of fruit," asked my doctor.

Well shoot.  No one told me 5-9 didn't include 8 servings of fruit and 1 serving of veggies.

"You're going to have to stay away from fruit for a bit. . .and things that have potassium in them to get these levels evened out.  Try incorporating more vegetables in your diet."

And there you have it.  More reasons not to trust guys who give food advice and my opinions on nutrition.

Since my potassium incident I really do try to incorporate vegetables wherever possible, or palatable.  Like throwing spinach in eggs, or spinach on a sammie, or spinach with chicken, or do a little switch-a-roo and replace spinach with kale.

I didn't say I had a huge repertoire.

Recently a friend of mine told me she put spinach in her fruit smoothies. . .and you couldn't even taste it!

Baffled and in unbelief I tested this out the very next day!

I am always looking for ways to eat more vegetables and not have to taste them!

She recommended two cups of raw spinach at most. . .three cups starts tasting like a liquid salad.

So here you go:  Gettin' in the Greens (you know, to balance out that 5-9 ratio!)

Add some spinach

Add some frozen fruit and fresh fruit (I had cherries, blackberries, and blueberries).

I love summer.

Add some ice if you don't have a lot of frozen fruit.

Add some juice (I usually use frozen juice and add water).

Blend to perfection.

Now you can eat your veggies with a cherry on top!

One last note. . .I tried doing this with broccoli.  Results not desirable.  I'm sticking with the spinach.

Muffookie

Have you ever mastered a recipe?  And by mastered I mean you can remember the recipe without having to thumb through a book or goo up your laptop keyboard for an ingredient mind jog; you also know it consistently tastes the way that produces a little squeally sigh deep from the underbelly of contentment.

I have finally found a master recipe.

I call it, the Muffookie.  (Don't say it three times fast.)

It needs a better name, I know.  Suggestions that sound a little less profane or Star Wars related, are welcome.

I can make this recipe in 10 minutes and it bakes in 12-14.

You can swap out ingredients.

You can bake it anyway you'd like.

And, bonus!  They are probably the healthiest baked good I have ever made.

And now, I have plotted their rise to total kitchen domination by prepping jars of dry goods packed with ingredients.  They line my shelf like little artillery shells filled with smokin good stuff.

Here is the cross-my-heart-this-really-works-master-recipe:

Dry:
3/4 cup oats-ground into flour by food processor
1 cup flour (choose thine option: gluten free, whole wheat, white, almond)
2 Tbsp flax seed meal
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp xanthum gum (if you used gfree flour)
mix it all thoroughly with a sifter-fun fun fun!

Wet:
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup sugar (choose thine option:  honey, agave nectar, brown sugar, white sugar)
1 tsp Vanilla extract
1 Tbsp Molasses (gives it that sassy kick)
1 egg
1/4 cup natural applesauce (add at the end of wet ingredients)

Beat butter for 1 minute; add sugar and beat 1 minute; add vanilla, molasses and beat 1 minute, add egg and applesauce and mix until combined.  Add all dry ingredients.  Mix well.

Add ons:
chocolate chips
coconut flakes
almond extract
walnuts
sweet potato
banana (add with wet ingredients-muffookies will be more moist)

I like to use my pampered chef scoop and put about a tablespoon of batter on a parchment lined cookie sheet.  I'm guessing a muffin tin could possibly work?  But don't take my word for it.

Bake at 350 for 12-14 minutes.

Delish.  I am in love.  Any nutritionist like to give me their health opinion on this?  But only if it's positive.

I love these on Sunday morning with my English Breakfast Tea and my newspaper and Target ad.

Beyond the Muffookie

What takes this beyond just a mastered recipe, is the idea to pre-mix the dry ingredients!!  I know, it's like those cookie jars I used to see other kids' moms make for teachers at Christmas.  But this time, it's for me and my Sunday mornings.

This has significantly cut down on kitchen mess.  And Lord knows, I am a tornado in my kitchen.

So I ground lots of oats, did some measuring. . .

and within 15 minutes I had my jars filled and beaming with oaty goodness.

Another simple solution I found when making jars of pre-mix, is to place the jar over a pliable lining, like parchment paper.  I don't know about your pouring accuracy, but if you're anything like me, trying to get flour into an old kroger small mouthed applesauce jar exponentially increases my monthly grocery budget.  So measure, dump, and re-dump the flour that didn't quite make it.

Well, with 29 years under my belt, I finally have found a couple simple solutions that were not in my Real Simple magazines. . .take that muffin ice cubs (see latest issue).

May the Muffookie bring you many mornings of sweet happiness!

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The Secret of the Zucchini Strip

I've been seeing all these fancy-pants zucchini strip dinners lately.  My first thought?  I can do that.

I go for what I deem my most regrettable wedding registry item I requested and open the box.  What I had hoped to be a revolutionary tool to effortlessly create julienne style potatoes your grandma would be jealous of turned out to be a potential extremity altering death trap.  Who thought it was a good idea to slide your hand across a giant blade while applying pressure to a slippery vegetable?  A little note to all registry participants-do your research on mandoline slicers. . .it could save you from a future as a hook wielding pirate.  Arr.

It had so much potential when I saw it online.  If only it wasn't so easy to add things to your Target registry.
Blast you, Target!

I know my challenge.  Slice the zucchini without losing a finger. . . or a palm.

Next I have to decide what the heck is in all these fancy-pants zucchini strip dinners.  Cheese?  Probably ungodly amounts of cheese.  Gouda no less.  And maybe dill?  Doesn't dill go with cheese?  And yogurt?  Is this turning into some kind of housewife tzatziki experiment?

I don't like any of the aforementioned ideas.  Andy does have a disdain for yogurt, unfortunately.  But maybe it's the fact that I can't get yogurt to taste like anything besides yogurt.  "Mmm, beef with a side of stroganoff yogurt!"  But I'm committed.  I risked becoming palmless for 12 slices of zucchini which were happily roasting themselves in the 350 degree oven.

I began to do what every woman cooking dinner does when she doesn't know what to make:  chop garlic and onion.  That gives me three to five minutes to think of what to put in next.  Oh, dice up left over chicken with a little magic sauce (Worcestershire sauce-a delightful kick in the tongue).  I do a blind grab for some spices and pull out rosemary-sure!  And next I pull out basil-classic.  A little salt and wilt some spinach and magic!  A filling for my zucchini strips.

Now I get to figure out the roll-up and stuffing part.  No problem, right?  Did you see what I had to go through to get this far?

All I have to say is I truly believe deep deep down in my pampered chef heart, that all those zucchini-lovin-rolls, are posers.  How do you get food to stay inside a slippery, slimy strip of squash. . .AND have it look good?  I bet those pinterest pictures are cardboard cutouts.  Hmpf.

So I tried.  And tried.  And tried.

And finally three zucchini rolls were birthed. . .sort of.

Side note, when you pick up a zucchini roll to eat. . .it all falls out the bottom.  #fail

To loosely quote Jillian Michaels on her Yoga Meltdown DVD, "You should be proud of yourself; you tried something new today."

Thanks, Jill.  I know I can always count on you.

At least it tasted good. . .even in parts.

We complemented the mess with a good ol'fashioned salad to kind of round out the night.

Cheers to experiments and for making things way more difficult than they often need to be.

Salted Caramel: Sooo 2012

Today was Andy's birthday.  Yaaay!  I told the guy at Starbucks, but he did not have the same enthusiasm. . .nor did he give Andy a free birthday drink-that two strikes, Starbies, two strikes.

Birthday time may not be an indication of anything special to the coffee mermaid, but here in the Hlushak household, it's time for a kitchen experiment!!  

Since Andy is a huge caramel fan (and requested it) I thought I'd make:  Salted "Party in my Mouth" Caramel Cupcakes

Birthday Treats.

Yeah, I guess "salted caramel" is all the rage, but if you're at Pink Berry, skip it.  But if you're here, I hope you have a few stick of butter because this is worth staying up till midnight to make.

Let me save you the pain of googling "homemade caramel cupcake" because I have found for you the unhealthiest, most deliciously satisfying recipe with easy shmeasy to follow instructions including the simplest way to make caramel (are there several?? probably).

Go get the butter out of the fridge before you read on, because, Yes you will want this.

Easy Shmeasy Vanilla Cupcakes:

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees (Why do we insist on pre-heating so early?  I'm still searching for the stupid teaspoon in the drawer when the oven hits the correct temp.  So, if I was a part of Team Cpt Planet, I'd be pre-heating around step 5).

1 cup butter (or 1 stick butter and 1/2 cup unsweatened applesauce-my one healthy contribution)

3/4 cup sugar

1 1/2 cup flour

1 tsp baking power

1 tsp baking soda (I made this step up on the fly-you may have a better handle on Baking Science 101)

2 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup milk

Step 1:  Beat butter, sugar and vanilla until yummy.

Step 2:  Add the applesauce if you're using it as an oil substitute.  Watch your batter looked curdled.  Don't worry, all's well in the end.

Step 3:  Add eggs.  Mix

Step 4: Spend the next 5 minutes searching for the teaspoon.  Then, in a separate bowl mix flour, baking powder and soda. 

Step 5:  Combine and mix.  (Now would be a good time to pre-heat the oven)

Step 6:  Add milk and watch the magic happen.  Mix well.

Step 7:  Line cupcake tins with papers and fill with mixture over 3/4 full.  Not good with fractions in-between 3/4 and whole.  So, feel free to express yo'self.

Step 8:  Pop in oven.  Check at 25 minutes.  May need up to 30 minutes.  Take out when, well, when it feels right in your heart.

Step 9:  Let cool.

I am adventurous when it comes to the kitchen.  Recipes are suggestions and I like to add twists that, in my mind, seem so wonderful I can't believe someone else hasn't tried it; or maybe it's because I'm not on Pinterest.

For my first try I loosely followed some blog lady's recipe and added my own idea of vanilla pudding and yogurt. There were some rising issues.  That, and the center was like vanilla lava.  Ew.  

This is NOT a Salted "Party in my Mouth" Caramel Cupcake-please don't be confused.

Like I said, there were some issues.

Round two went better and thus, an easy shmeasy vanilla cupcake recipe.  Oh, by the way, it makes 12 huge (well, ok, normal) sized cupcakes.  

Ready for the fun part!!  Today I learned how to make caramel.  All my stay at home mom friends are probably rolling their eyes and saying, "Oh sweet Lauren, homemade caramel was sooo 2011."  In that case moms, I bet you've never put it in icing!!  Or maybe you have.  Hmm.  Well, regardless, this icing is a winner and really easy.

Salted Caramel "This is so 2012" Icing

2 tbsp water

1/4 cup white sugar

1/4 cup whipping cream

Boil water and sugar on medium high.  Stir sugar until dissolved and then let boil.  Once boiling, let it continue until a nice amber brown (or in my case it started to smell like burning; I figure that's a good indication that it's time for the next step).  Remove from heat and add whipping cream and stir.  Stir until nice and caramelly.  Let stand until cool (30 minutes or maybe 10 in the fridge).

Meanwhile, back at the kitchen aide,

1 cup of butter

2 cups powered sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1/8 tsp salt (don't get over zealous on the salt, this is dessert after all)

Whip butter into a frenzy-5 minutes on high. Add vanilla and whip some more.

Slowly add powdered sugar (note:  leaving whisk on high setting will cause Christmas all over your counter. . .choose speed settings wisely).  When caramel sauce is cool, add slowly to icing and mix. If caramel is not cool, it will melt the butter.  First hand experience, people.

When all is said and done, ice away and lick the bowl into oblivion.  It's a good good night.

Birthday cupcake never tasted so good.

Happy Birthday, Andy!

Easter Treat: Hlushak Macs

Have ever confessed to you my deep love for coconut?  It's delicious.  I mean, when I think about the shredded bits of wonder my salivary glands start streaming like a breached dam.

It used to be a chore to eat.  I'd take a bite of cookie with sneaky little coconut bits hiding behind a chocolate chip.  Ten minutes later, Surprise!  I'm still gnawing on slivers that won't dissolve.

But things are different now. . .maybe it all began in 2008 when I traveled across the seven seas over Russian tundras, and past Hello Kitty, to find the coconut.

Despite popular belief, I am not making out with the coconut.

My Bapak ("dad" in the background), climbed a tree with a machete in mouth and cut down a real live coconut for me.  Tucked deep within the shell was water (not milk people, coconuts are not from the bovine familia), and I feasted for a moment.

I tried to convince Andy to let me swing by Indonesia on grocery shopping day to ensure the freshest coconut.  Apparently coconut is not as important to him because he said no.

Now I just buy Bob Red Mill's bag of unsweetened shredded coconut and go cocoNUTS!  I sneak it in a lot of things:  homemade granola, oatmeal, curry, cookies, my bed.  I have used it to top cupcakes and my toast; I even have homemade deodorant made from coconut oil (thanks, Suz!).

Well, last night Andy and I spent Good Friday with some friends.  Dessert was on the menu and after I found out I was joining fellow coconut fans, I decided I wanted to try to make Macaroons, which, I discovered that night, are traditional Easter and Passover treats.  (I guess because they're kosher-woo!)

FOUR Ingredients people.  This could go in a man's cookbook.

Hlushak (Easter) Macs

2 egg whites
1/4 tsp (kosher) salt
1/2 cup honey
1-2 cups unsweetened (finely) shredded coconut
Optional:  semi sweet chocolate chips, melted for dipping

Preheat oven to 325.  Open window to vent burning smell that's emitted from oven because last nights dinner had a few spills.

Beat egg whites and salt until almost stiff.

Add honey.  Note-I added 1/2 cup of honey and my macaroons were pretty sweet.  I may reduce this measurement for future macaroons.

Beat until stiff peaks form.

Fold in coconut.  I used about 1.5 cups until the texture was thick enough to stand in ball form.  You can use more or less coconut-whatever is looking appropriate for that moment in time.

I hope you registered for that kitchen aid.

Line baking sheet with parchment paper.  VERY IMPORTANT, unless you want to eat your macaroons straight off the baking pan, it is highly recommended to line the baking sheet to prevent sticking.

Scoop tablespoon "blobs" out and place on parchment paper.

Bake for 15 minutes, until golden brown.

Let cool and then gently peel off baking sheet.  Dip in chocolate.

YUM!  I had two for breakfast this morning.

Hlushak (Easter) Macs.

There you have it.  A simple, gluten-free, healthier dessert (kosher too), that takes about 25 minutes to make.  Apparently the cleaning part takes about 12 hours because the dishes are still dirty this morning.

Happy Easter!

"Why do you look for the living among the dead?"

Luke 24:5b

No More Drama: Meal Planning (and recipe: Almond Chicken Bites)

A few years back I lived in a snuggly basement of a fantastic family.  I painted a few walls olive green and made my bed everyday.  I had only few responsibilities:  clean the bathroom, participate in Sunday evening family game domination, and cook one meal a week.

Yes, yes I did take a picture of my room.
Take a look at non-crispy Ling Ling.

My palms still get sweaty thinking back to the pressures of feeding people something beyond cereal and sandwiches.  I would flip madly through Rachel Ray and Taste of Home magazines desperate for help creating something that was palatable.  I remember my first dish:  sloppy joes.  They were decent.  No complaints.  Well, I never got complaints-just forced smiles of affirmation (and prayers for my future husband).  My meal that flopped was this "casserole" I threw together.  After an hour in the oven the carrots were still rock hard.  Then I realized the oven was having emotional issues and I had to deconstruct the casserole wiping cream of mushroom off the carrots and boiling them and frying the chicken.  Sheer panic, folks.  I think we even ate bread and jam that night.

That year I was encouraged to menu plan. . .for my once a week meal.  I never could do it.  I could not plan for ONE meal.  It was a rough year in the kitchen.

Now I'm married.  I didn't meal plan for the past 350 days of our marriage.  Yes, times in the kitchen were stressful.  I had some meals that were embarrassing to serve.  But those days are over, because BUDGET's back in town.  King Soopers, Sunflower Market-they were my little haven of spending.  How can you set a budget on the sustenance of life?!  So I would stop by most every day and pick up the necessities that were necessary to collect the dust in my pantry.

To be a wise steward of our money (and time), I figured I should start this discipline of planning meals.  It takes discipline:  You must set aside time and plan out your recipes in advance (that's called meal planning).

Here are some steps that I've created (I know no one has ever thought of this stuff before) to meal plan:

1.  Look at what's on sale.  (And try no to pine too much over the stuff that's not.)

2.  Write down list of items on sale that you would like to eat. (chicken sausage, broccoli, lettuce, cabbage)

3.  Start searching your favorite recipe sites for meals that include your sale items.  If you can't find a recipe you like, or it takes more than five minutes to find one worth trying, cross it off your list (sorry cabbage).

4.  Clip coupons or go to the stores website and add them to your savings card (King Soopers has this option).  Coupons for good foods are rare these days, so don't waste too much time here.  I typically search for toilet paper, toothpaste, and coffee coupons.

5.  Make your shopping list.

Yay.  Now I get to go shopping!!!  Any kind of shopping makes my day.  I don't even mind a Home Depot trip with Andy because I'm a deal hunter and my prey is lurking everywhere!

Today I will fight the double-ad Wednesday folks at Sunflower Market.  I got to get my game face on, so I thought I'd share with you some of the Hlushak culinary surprises. . . but not all at once.  Patience young grasshopper; maybe you'll find inspiration, or maybe you'll just laugh at what I make Andy eat :)

Almond Crusted Chicken Bites
(props to Nature's Table, the healthy cooking school next to my work for helping obtain a delicious recipe)
Ingredients:
2 chicken breasts cut up into 1'' pieces (yum)
1 cup plain yogurt
1 cup almonds, chopped finely (use a food processor)
2 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp white pepper (um, or black)

The line up.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Pour yogurt into a bowl.  In another bowl mix almonds, thyme, onion, and garlic powders, salt, and pepper.

Dredge chicken cubes in the yogurt to coat.  Then dredge through the nut mixture to coat thoroughly.  (Your fingers will look like sweaters during this stage.)

Place coated chicken on parchment or foil lined baking sheet.  Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until the chicken is done.

Serve with Hlushak honey mustard sauce (created by the talented Mrs. Mom Hlushak) or I guess you could settle for ketchup, BBQ sauce, mustard, but why?

For your viewing pleasure, I bring you a close up of RAW chicken.

Just so we never forget who we are or where our honey mustard sauce is located.

Thanks for stopping by!  Enjoy making these tasty almond crusted chicken bites.  You can serve them with sliced baked sweet potatoes and a salad.  Mmmm!

Spelt Your Heart Out: Food FAIL

Yesterday Andy and I found out some great news about a house we put an offer on (more on this later).  We were encouraged to celebrate, but what does that even mean?!

So we decided to do things in house (and watch the Academy Awards, although Andy would not appreciate me sharing that detail).  Andy ran out to get wine and cheap tequila for margaritas and I stayed back to make some pizza.  I can handle pizza.  Pizza is no problem for me.  

Except. . .

I bought some spelt flour at Sunflower Market.  I don't know why.  I guess because I heard it's "good for you."  And I'll admit, I had no plans for it when I dug that little plastic scoop into that powdery brown speckled flour.  (On a smart note, according to wikipedia, "spelt is a hexaploid species of wheat"-try using the word "hexaploid" correctly in a sentence today.)

So spelt pizza crust it is!  I have no idea if there is some Society of Spelt that share their secrets inside little musty forest caves where other "healthy" and odd things grow.   I'm not a member, so I just winged it and made the usual pizza crust substituting white flour for spelt.

All went according to plan.

I rolled it out.

I carefully and lovingly applied all the delicious toppings.

And just when I lifted the pizza pan to put it in a precisely pre-heated 425 degree oven, this happened:

I hope you're laughing right now.

I knew it was too gooey to be true.

But I'm too stubborn (or irritated?) to take apart an already assemble pizza.  I just put a jelly roll pan underneath and shoved it in the oven right as my margarita mix walked through the door.

I guess it wasn't a complete fail.  I mean, we scraped it off the pan and ate it.  Perhaps I won't use such a porous pan next time.

If you are interested in using/experimenting with spelt, might I suggested some recipes I've never tried before on the 101 Cookbooks website.

And way to go, Octavia Spencer, for taking home an Oscar for best supporting actress in The Help! 

We totally voted for you.

Today's Verse:

"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord." 1 Peter 3:15a

Herb-a-licious

I'll admit, if you eat my food, it probably lacks fresh herbs.  Why?  Because I suffer from herb-storage deficiency syndrome.  HSDS is no laughing matter when it comes to meal preparation.  I'm finally ready to make my homemade salsa and my cilantro has formed it's own ozone layer of green goo.  So I get nervous to buy herbs that I know I can't use the minute I walk through my door.

There is a cure for HSDS, but I didn't know until my dear co-worker, Margo, shared with me a simple yet herb-saving tip that changed my kitchen life.  I googled it to work out user error and learned a few more tips.

Increasing the life of your fresh herbs (what you should know that I didn't until now):
1.  Find an excuse (recipe) to buy fresh herbs.
2.  Chop the stem bottoms off

3.  Stick in glass or vase of cool water

4.  Put in fridge (most herbs like it cool, but there are some exceptions like basil-he's warm blooded like me)

5.  Place a plastic bag over herbs in fridge-Key Step. (why?  You ask such hard questions that I cannot answer.)

Herbs last a few weeks.  Or a month.  My parsley is still going strong.

Here are some tips that you won't find if you google "herb storage":

1.  If working with a variety of fresh herbs, put them in different and distinct storage containers.  That way when the husband asks, "Which one is cilantro?"  You can say, "the one in the Wolverine cup."  Saves time, energy, and maybe your marriage.

2.  Don't wash your little herbs until you're ready to use them.  Pre-washing causes pre-mature herb-rot (what we're are avoiding in the first place, people).  So OCD friends, chillax on the pre-wash.

3.  Put cilantro stems down the garbage disposal and give it a whirl.  As my friend Allison says, "I hope heaven smells like cilantro and fresh laundry."  You don't have to wait for heaven, Al.

Today's Verse:
"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 46:10

May we still our bodies, hearts, and minds today and see the power of God at work all around us.

Quinoa Porridge on a Snowy Morning

Today I woke up in the guest bedroom. . .on purpose.  The wind is just too intense sometimes and the way it hits Andy and I's bedroom window produces howls unfit to be sung at night.  But the wind doesn't care if I want to sleep.  So Andy and I migrated to the land of stacked books, miscellaneous cords, and dust to settle in for a long winter's slumber because the wind seems less offensive in bedrooms facing south.

Waking up to snow.

Last night I cooked the magical grain, quinoa, and set some aside to make quinoa porridge this morning. Quinoa is not only a grain, but a complete protein, which means it contains all nine amino acids.  And since I don't really know what I'm talking about, you can learn more about this "gold of the Incas" by going here.

Move over dinner, you're about to get served. . .or unserved, rather.  Quinoa is now for breakfast.

Quinoa Porridge:  Breakfast of Champions

What you'll need:
1 cup pre-cooked quinoa
1/4-1/2 cup milk, soy milk, or water (or combination)
1/4 cup shredded unsweeted coconut flakes
1 1/2 tablespoons of honey
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
2 teaspoons of cinnamon
patience

Place cooked quinoa and liquid in small pot over medium heat.

Bring to a bubble and stir frequently.

Add coconut.  I love coconut.  I really added 1/4 cup.  You might want to add a little less.

Keep stirring.

Add spices and honey.  You can also add molasses or maple syrup, or agave nectar.  Stir.

Place lid on pot as long as there is still liquid cooking.  Add more liquid if you want your porridge creamier.

This is an estimate (depending on the amount of liquid you used) but let it cook for maybe five minutes until the liquid is cooked into the quinoa.

Serve with tea.

Really, you can let your imagination run through amber waves of grain on this one.  Just add liquid, your favorite morning spices, and a little bit of sweetener.  Let me know you variations!

And don't forget the coconut.

Today's verse:
"The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him."
Daniel 9:9

If that doesn't make your heart go coco-nuts, I don't know what will.  Praise the Lord for his mercy and forgiveness despite my often wayward heart.

Tasty Almond Snack Time!

I'm trying to bump up nutrition in the Hlushak household.  Now that rehab is starting and we're all a little, well, under-shape around here, it's time to throw away La Favorita's, and the Oreo's (actually, I didn't throw them away. . .I am going to still eat them), and make some alterations in our snacking habits (baby steps).

Andy is a savory person by nature.  He likes potatoes (and dislikes sweet potatoes-why?!).  He likes chips over cookies (crazy, right?).  And he likes long strolls in the park instead of running (when I read this part to him he rolled his eyes. . .but it was the good kind of eye roll, like, "my wife is ridiculous").  See, he is savory.  So when it comes to snacks, it's time to put my sweet tooth on hold and bust out the seasonings.

Andy being savory.  I love this man.

Here are some Savory (and a little sweet, I couldn't resist) Chipotle Almonds (adapted from Cooking Light's Sweet Chipotle Snack mix).  Very quick and easy to make, and will make you so excited for snack time.  

Savory Chipotle Almond Snack

Stuff you'll need:

1 1/2 cup Almonds

1 cup other nut of choice or, I used sunflower seeds-it's what I had in the pantry

1/4 cup dates if you want some sweetness!

1 teaspoon chipotle powder (11/2 teaspoon to make your tongue tingle)

1/2 teaspoon cummin

1/2 teaspoon chili powder

1/2 teaspoon oregano

1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 teaspoon sugar (totally optional)

1 large egg white

some soy sauce

Chipotle seasoning in bulk is super cheap. Check out Sunflower Market.

parchment paper (no mess. no sticking. no dishes!)

whisk or electric mixer with whisk attachment 

Let's do this!

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Line jelly roll pan with parchment paper.

Combine chipotle powder through sugar in small bowl.  Mix with spoon.

Whisk egg white until frothy.  Add a few squirts of soy sauce into egg while still mixing.  

Add in spice mixture.  Stir with spatula.

Add in almonds and nuts and dates and mix with spatula.  

Spread onto pan.  

Pop in oven for 13 minutes.

Take out and turn off oven.

Stir nut mixture and return to oven for 10-15 more minutes.  (Don't want to burn, just want it crispy.)

Take out, taste, burn tongue.

Decide to let it cool and then snack away! 

Pre-Game Warm Ups

It's Pre-Game day, people!  That's right, with Valentine's Day right around the corner the Ruffled Heart Headquarters has been buzzing with activity.  

Author's Note:  I love Valentine's Day.  I always have.  And not because when the 14th of February rolls around I have some hot boyfriend.  Nope.  In fact there's been only ONE HOT boyfriend on Valentine's Day (who happens to be my now HOT husband) and that didn't happen until I was 27.  I love it because I love hearts, candy, little notes, chocolate, flowers, and chocolate, and sweets, and all the other little pretty touches Valentine's Day affords the female.  I personally think Valentine's Day is the day I get to be as girly as possible and use pink and purple in great excess all the while eating a heart shaped candy bar.  I also love that it's a day devoted to giving small little tokens of love and friendship to people.  AH!  It's like first grade again!  

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and since Andy and I have lived in our apartment for almost a year and I have seen our neighbors less than the amount of coupons I cut (that's not very many), I thought I'd make them some cupcakes to celebrate the day.

 To help you with your pre-game warm-ups, I'm here to share some icing goodness.  I like to make healthy and tasty things.  This is not healthy.  It is tasty.  I'm not great at them simultaneously.

VALENTINE CUPCAKES

STEP ONE

Ask your husband to take you to King Soopers.  Buy boxed cake mix.  You can get creative and get some mix-ins.  I like to use 1 box of chocolate pudding, 8 oz of plain yogurt, and substitute the oil with natural applesauce.  This made the cupcakes very light and fluffy.

STEP TWO

Make cupcakes.  Test them.  Test a lot of them.  Watch Valentine's Day and see how many celebrities you know without looking their names up on IMBD.

STEP THREE

Go to sleep.  

Since it is now the day before Valentine's Day, you may not have this luxury.  

Skip to step four.

STEP FOUR

Make ICING!!!

I love making icing.

I like making baked goods just because I like making the icing.  

ICING

WHIPPED BUTTERCREAM

(hands down, delicious and very sweet)

1/2 cup butter no-salt added, room temp

Put in mixing bowl and beat 5 minutes on medium-hi.  If you have a whisk attachment, you are in for a treat.

Gradually add in powdered sugar on low setting.  Once mixed, turn to higher speed.

Add a little vanilla extract or your favorite flavoring (pumpkin spice, almond, coconut?!)

Continue to add powdered sugar until thick (maybe 2-3 cups).

Add a little milk or cream to get icing fluffier.  Beat on high, of course.

CHOCOLATE WHIPPED BUTTERCREAM

(make whipped buttercream)

Melt 6 oz of unsweetened chocolate baking squares (or dark chocolate) in a double boiler.

Add gradually to whipped buttercream and continue to beat on high.

YUM!

DARK CHOCOLATE GANACHE

(this is extreme dark chocolate flavor-not for the faint of heart)

1 cup heavy whipping cream

12 oz of chocolate (I used baking squares, and a little bit of a dark chocolate candy bar) chopped into small pieces and placed in pyrex

Bring cream to boil and pour slowly over chocolate.

Stir until chocolate melts

The DARK CHOCOLATE GANACHE is pretty strong.  I iced the cupcakes with the WHIPPED BUTTERCREAM icing first and then dipped it into the GANACHE.  What match made in heaven.

I suppose you could use milk chocolate.

Cupcake.  Iced with Whipped Buttercream.  Dipped in Ganache.

DECORATIONS

Now I don't have any type of cake decorating tools.  Nothing but a spatula.  So for those of you who do not own much of that, here are some of my ideas for DECORATIONS.

Ganache, sprinkles, pearl drops, shredded coconut, dusted powdered sugar, a piece of Valentine's day candy, chocolate chips, toothpicks with notes glued to them, and you can always put icing in a ziplock baggie, cut off the tip and pipe it on the cupcake. 

The plan is to give these to our neighbors, right?  Well who wants to put all the work into delicious icing only to have it smushed by plastic wrap (yeah, I use plastic wrap).  I have an idea.

HOW TO MAKE HEART STOPPING CUPCAKE PROTECTORS

STEP ONE

Take the Fourth of July toothpicks your husband bought for $.50 last August and strip them of the flags.  I don't hate America, I promise.  I just need toothpicks, and well, go figure the Hlushaks only have one's with American Flags on them.

STEP TWO

Punch out little hearts (I got a heart punch on Black Friday at JoAnn's last season.  I guess you could cut out hearts too).  

STEP THREE

Paste the little hearts to the non-pointy ends of the toothpick.

STEP FOUR

Stick HEART STOPPING toothpicks into cupcakes (the tallest ones) and wrap with plastic wrap (or whatever non-toxic, hypo allergenic thing you use).

It's heart-stopping, I know.

One more pre-game thing you can do-find verses in the Bible that speak of God's amazing love for us.  After all, he is the greatest lover and greatest year-round Valentine.

"It was not by their sword that they won the land, 

nor did their arm bring them victory;

it was your hand, your arm,

and the light of your face, for you loved them."

Psalm 44:3

"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed.  

His mercies never fail;

they are new every morning.

Great is your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23